I accidentally became a lawyer.. ⚖️

I wish I could tell you I emerged from my mother’s womb, gavel in hand, yelling “objection,” with my tiny baby briefcase clutched in my little baby fist, but that’s simply not the case. In fact, I distinctly remember telling my father (who is both an attorney and a banker) that I would never, ever, ever, in a billion years, want to do what he does – sit in an office all day long, reading documents and arguing with people over email.

This was nothing against my father. My father is easily the smartest man in the universe (at least to me) and there is no one I look up to more than him. I would absolutely love to be 1/3 the person he is. Just… not on a professional level (at least, not then).

Also, I’m pretty sure he does more than sit in an office all day long, reading documents and arguing with people over email, but that’s what I thought at the time.

And yet, here we are: Ashley B., Attorney-at-Law, esquire… okay I’m already out of fun titles and bored. Whatever – I’m a freaking attorney. So what gives?

Again, I wish I could tell you that I had a clairvoyant epiphany in college, midway through my Shakespearean studies, that justice was my calling and that all would not be right in my world until I was preserving that very justice myself. Or even that I suddenly realized that there was no better party in my generation to prosecute the guilty or defend the innocent than me. But, that also did not happen.

In reality, I sucked at med school stuff. My favorite professor (who I looked up to and respected so much (and still do)) would not recommend me for the English graduate program, and basically, there was just not a ton of careers searching for a B average student, with an unclear path, a degree in English and an emphasis in creative writing. I didn’t bother to take any business classes, because I would never do that! (This now seems like the safest, most sure-fire, route to employment- heed my advice). I “took” one accounting class, but mostly used it as an excuse to flirt with a guy I thought was cute (update: I was wrong, he was NOT cute) and those stupid balancing T-charts never evened out, ever. I even took the GRE and failed to take note that MATH would be on it, and got a whopping “not good” score there too.

Honestly, I would tell you how bad I did on the GRE but I don’t remember. I was so detached and disinterested. I can’t even remember the scoring system. I’m not even sure I’m using the right letters to identify the test. 🙄 I just remember being FLABBERGASTED that there was math on it and I hadn’t looked in a math book in years, not since the trauma that was calculus. Clearly, I set myself up for success here, haha. Note: I have no doubt it was a horrifying score.

So.. I’m set to graduate, and the future is looking… bleak. I’m looking poor, my animals are looking expensive, and I am suddenly having a real-life Come to Jesus moment with myself regarding the fact that life is about to drastically change. My parents were also having these meetings with me (and Jesus), but they were a little less “YOU ARE GOING TO BE HOMELESS. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO EAT THE RABBITS FOR FOOD. YOU WILL HAVE TO SHARE YOUR HORSE’S STALL WITH HER AND USE HER BODY AS WARMTH TO GET THROUGH THE WINTER” and a little more like “Ashley, we want to see you happy, what will make you happy? Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Where do your passions lie (besides with every dog in America)?”

Potato, Pahtato. Things were bleak.

So, my dad dared me to take the LSAT and I’ve never been one to turn down a dare. Besides, it wasn’t like opportunities to demonstrate my extensive knowledge of Hamlet were lining up left and right. So i figured, what the hell? I’ll take it, I’ll fail it, and THEN I’ll be homeless.

But I didn’t fail. I actually did pretty well. Apparently I had marked that the test scorer’s could send my scores out to local law schools (which just goes to show how confident I was that I was GOING TO FAIL), and before I knew it.. law schools were calling and offering scholarships. (Not a ton, I don’t want to sound like I’m tooting my own horn here, a few law schools called and offered nominal scholarships). No one likes a horn tooter.

But like… I wasn’t busy. My master plan was still in its infancy, not even revealing itself to me (the creator). For the record, I am still unsure of the master plan. But again, I thought, what the hell? It’s not like I have a bunch of other super cool shit going on.

So I went to the meeting, apparently sold myself well, and was offered a spot in the class of 2015… orientation starting Thursday. It was Tuesday.

And just like that.. I went to law school. I figured, someone has to stand up for the pit bulls. (I went into law school thinking that I was going to practice animal law. Hint: animals don’t have rights and I’ve never cried more in a class in my life.. including chemistry).

So now, I do real estate work, title work, and I sit in my office all day long, read tons of documents and argue with people over email, just like I said I never would. Man, I lawyer the hell out everything. Kinda.

It is what it is. Is it where my passions lie? Not exactly, but my dogs are and I love being able to pay their vet bills and take them to daycare, and spoil the shit out of them. I like my work, I feel like I do important work, and I look forward to (most) of my work days, which is better than some people can say.

So.. in the end, it works. It all worked out. Now, I’m a lawyer and my dogs have a yard, I never had to use my horse for warmth and my rabbits died a natural death, and not from being consumed.

In sum, I guess we call this a win. I turned out just like my favorite guy after all. Case dismissed.

Sunny daze ahead, sweet friends. 🌞

Published by SunnyDazeAhead

Well... it's happening, due to high demand, and my monstrous ego, I've decided to blog. Simply put, I can't imagine who wouldN'T want to read my crazy antics and get to know the inner-workings of my semi-stable brain. Maybe, you'll laugh (hopefully, WITH me). Maybe you'll cry or maybe you'll get bored. It's really up to you what you take from this, all I can promise is brutal honesty, a heavy dose of sarcasm, some cuss words (I am who I am, sorry dad), and a little insanity. My mom has also recommended I share some of my recipes.. so maybe that too. The face behind the blog is... hard to put into words and words are "kinda" my thing. I am loud, I am outspoken, I am silly, I am sarcastic. I am wildly defensive of my loved ones. I have an anxious mind and I spend a LOT of time trying to keep my brain from spiraling into worst case scenarios. I work hard to keep my mind a happy, optimistic place, which I have come to realize is not my mind's natural habitat. I spend almost all my time with my three dogs: Lucy, Brantley, and Zeppelyn, who I am convinced are the greatest beings on the planet. I probably love my parents TOO much, but I am blessed to share a very close friendship with both and it is REALLY important to me that I never take that for granted. I love a boy, I have loved the same boy for years now, and I moved for him and honestly; home is where he is. Fine, his name is Matt and he is most definitely TAKEN, so back off ladies. I am a KC Native; a Jayhawk by choice, and an Omaha- Transplant. I spent my entire life telling everyone I was going to be a doctor, only to turn out to be an attorney in the scheme of things (I am proud of that, it is just not where I saw my life going). I am often convinced that I should have been born in a small town (John Cougar Mellencamp- Style) and any part of my heart not occupied by the dogs and Matt, is occupied by the late, but no less great Star, my horse/partner/best friend of 15 years. That's right, I am a former "Horse Hottie" and it is one of my favorite things about myself. Otherwise, I try to be a kind, generous, and a good person. Sometimes, I think I am misunderstood, and other times, I am understood a little too well. My face will tell you anything that I SOMEHOW manage to filter my mouth from saying. Oh, and I think I need all baby animals: zoo animals, farm animals, ALL the animals. That should pretty much wrap it up -- I'm Ashley; Enneagram: Whatever. In truth, I don't know what my mission is here. I don't foresee myself saving lives, talking people off the ledge, or providing sage, creative or original life advice. I am not a parent, so parenting-advice shall not be offered. I avoid controversial topics like the plague, I don't have the urge to lead you to the Lord (but he is pretty cool if you are open to the idea), and I have no idea on how to teach, craft, DIY, counsel, or even really advise. But I can repeat what I have learned, I can tell stories, and (sometimes) I can make people laugh. Writing makes me happy. I hope my writing makes you happy. So buckle up, strap in, glue your helmet to your damn head, empty your bladder and do whatever it is that you have to do to prepare for a ride.. a wild ride. A star-studded, bronc bucking, rodeo type of ride... my very favorite type. 💃🏼 Sunny daze ahead friends, probably. ❤️

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