3 Truths and a Big, Fat Lie

3 truths and a lie, you know the game right? Someone tells you four interesting, juicy, somewhat unbelievable, tidbits about themselves and their lives; 3 are true, one is a lie. It used to be a game you could play in high school to “flirt” with your crush over text or it sometimes showed up as a “fun” get-to-know- you game that your teacher/educator forced you to play (that you most definitely hated). Here, it’s showing up as an intro to a blog post, so love it or hate it, let’s play:

1. I have rode horses since I was 11 years old, and got the first love of my life, Star, at the prime age of 12. I lost her December 26, 2019… and life hasn’t looked the same since.

2. I love to grocery shop and HATE to clothes shop. Clothing is so challenging and it never fits me the way I want it to fit.

3. I have a subconscious, but increasingly evident, obsession with black/white colored mutts. I’m on my 4th (with Zeppelyn) in 9 years.. and I have no regrets. Apparently, they’re just the best.

4. I lead a Pinterest-perfect life, full of happiness and joy, at all hours of the day.

So.. which is the lie?

What I thought was the obvious lie… wasn’t so clear. Hint: I don’t lead a Pinterest-perfect life, it’s not all giggles and kicks over here, and sometimes.. I just lie. We all do. Social media is a lie – a carefully constructed, photo album of all the happy, joyful moments, that seems to seriously lacking in work place drama, discontent, self-loathing, internal battles, sickness, relationship turmoil, and all other “negative” feelings. The truth is… happy sells. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’ve always considered myself a very honest, candid person. And then, a few months ago, I made a Facebook post. It was stupid, I had had a bad day and I was frustrated about something (I honestly don’t even remember) and so I posted a “rant” about how over adulthood I was. I got the normal sympathizers, the “feel ya there, girl,” all the “it’ll get better’s” a girl could want, but then I got an unexpected response.

I got a message, from an old high school acquaintance, that simply said: “sorry to hear you are going through this, but I have to admit, you always seem SO happy. It’s nice to know you are human.”

Immediately, I thought.. what a weird thing to say to someone who is truly going through a mental breakdown/break-through (I’m choosing break-through these days🌞), that has been sick as hell for weeks, that hasn’t gone 2 days in a row without crying in months… yet, here I am… Little Miss Sunshine, a gigantic liar.

I should preface this by saying- I hate liars, but it’s all part of the game.. isn’t it?

I’ve come to realize lately (like as I am drafting this blog) that this kind of lying is okay. It’s okay to put your foot down and only share positive things, it’s okay to portray your life the way you want it to seem (habits take time, after all). It’s okay to share photos that make your heart smile, quotes that set your soul on fire, and just “fake it until you make it”.

The other option is to be negative all the time, and sad, and never share anything that adds joy to your life.. or anyone else’s life for that matter. Do you know what I call that? Manifesting the SHIT out of that SHIT. sad stories, complaints, sickness, negativity. The more you share, the more you manifest doom and gloom.

I choose joy. I choose sunshine and rainbows. And sometimes, it’s a lie; and sometimes, that’s okay. In the face of the current state of our country, COVID, racism, unemployment, police relations, I choose joy. It’s not naive, it’s not thoughtlessness, it’s not being close-minded or ignorant. It’s simply my only choice – I choose to manifest dog love, family, love for Matt and self-love.

Manifest what you love and you’ll reflect that love. 🤷🏻‍♀️ even on bad days, even when you’re going through tough times, positivity can become so entwined with your identity, that it is shocking to others to find out that you actually have more complex human feelings.

As a consequence of this epiphany, and the knowledge that I seem “always happy,” social media is suddenly jaded. I’ve come to realize, all those Pinterest-perfect people… probably also have actual problems, and real emotions, and hardships too. Maybe all those bodies we envy, the marriages that we covet, trips we turn green for, the babies we long for, are the silver-linings to some real shitty shit. That’s the beauty of social media-maybe they’re faking it until they make it too. Maybe we’re all a bunch of fucking fakes; but at least, we’re trying.

In a roundabout way, this is all to say: choose joy, friends. Fake it, until you make it. Celebrate other people’s wins, because you never know what shit happened behind the scenes of that perfectly crafted Facebook post. Don’t envy, don’t hate, don’t get jealous. Your comeuppance is coming, and the sooner you embrace the joy of YOUR journey, the happier you’ll be. I’m saying this as much as myself as much as I am saying it to you – a happy facade is better than nothing at all.

Sunny daze ahead friends (optimistically)