Today, opening up my blog app, my gut reaction was to go on this massive diatribe about the last 72 hours. I mean, for the love of God, a car exploded in my backyard. It’s been a BATTLE. I’m also coughing. I think it’s from the smoke; but of course, COVID exists so who freaking knows? So needless to say, it’s a 100% full-fledged pity party up in here. But I’m honestly not having a good time feeling this way, and dragging you down, with my made-up bullshit and first world problems, sounds like a really good way to turn into a major pain in the ass. SO.. that’s all I will say about that.
So today, let’s talk about trips, sun-shiny wonderful trips. We have a running family tradition, every summer, we spend a week or two in Destin, Florida. It’s our favorite week of the year and I am so blessed to be able to count the number of summers I haven’t gotten to go on one hand. 27 years, almost 27 summers.
Of course, once I was of dating age, I was INSISTENT that I had to have my boyfriend at the time go with me. Man, I wish I woulda just enjoyed that time with family, but what can I say? Teenage Ashley was stupid. 😏
It started as a running joke, but sort of turned into a curse. Each and every time a new boyfriend made it to Destin with the family, the relationship would end shortly thereafter. It became my test, can I travel with this person? Do we vacation the same? HINT: 4/5 didn’t make the cut. 🤣 it’s not on them.. it’s me.
Side note: is this a lot of boys? Lol 5 serious boyfriends.. from ages 15-27. Do high school relationships count as serious relationships? Do first year of college relationships count as serious relationships? Do I have a need to be in a relationship? 🤣 need honest feedback. Also accepting well meaning diagnoses. 🙃
Boys: this will be the last time I fall on a blade for you, but I think it’s important to be honest. It really is me that creates the problem.
I cannot overstate how important it is to vacation the same. I’m so mellow. Vacation Ashley wants a good novel, evening puzzles, all the seafood we can find, and a lounge chair on the beach, with umbrella access, and bud light. That is it. I do not want to go out clubbing. I do not want to sightsee. I do not want to go on adventures and go shopping and drive places.
My ass… is parked… in the beach chair working on my tan.. for the entirety of our trip. 🏝
This has always been the issue. My determined laziness and simplicity clashes with the adventurous; the ones that want to try new things and restaurants. The ones that want to make friends (ew) and like.. bond with them (ew). The ones that want to go dancing, and putt-putt golf, and participate in water park activities, are in direct conflict with my tranquil, sedentary, slightly tipsy and reclusive vacation vibe.
Without fail, 4 times I brought a boy with me (Boys I had been dating for a long time or even lived with) .. and there was the inevitable, particular moment, mid-trip, that the entire family just knew it was over. Too much action to upset my non-action. And we would all tiptoe around it like we had NO idea what was happening. Sure, maybe not the first time, but times 2-4? We definitely knew what was brewing.
In all of these situations (besides one where I was literally driven so insane I wasn’t sure we were taking the same plane home), I tried to make it work, I tried to push these feelings aside, I tried to think logically: making the whole “52 weeks a year, and only two of them are for vacation, it’s not that big of a deal” argument with myself.
But it is. It really, really is. Vacations are different for everyone and everyone has different expectations, but you deserve to enjoy your vacation the way you like it. Those 2 weeks are hard earned, much anticipated, VALUED, weeks. You shouldn’t have to compromise on them.
So.. that brings us to Matt. Matt has been to Destin (2 years ago… this feels promising), we have cruised, we have road tripped. We have explored NYC and Montreal (not our “ideal” beach adventure, but we’re glad we did it).
Matt meets my lazy, morning reads with his lazy morning music listening, he tries all the seafood and even likes most of it! He never wants to go clubbing and he will never talk to random people to try to make “friends”. He will stare at the ocean, chug bud light, and just be.
Silent. Relaxing. Comfortable. I love to go on trips with him..
Now the actual act of traveling, that is an entirely different story. I have never met someone with worse luck while traveling… EVER. it’s borderline unbelievable and it’s honestly become so expected, that morale starts low, and expectations are always met… and seemingly made worse than you could have ever thought. I can make an entire blog all about his horrible traveling luck – but this one, I wanna keep mushy-gushy.
I figure, as long as we can get there, I know we will have a great time. A day of travel torture one way and a day of travel torture on the way back home, is worth all the time in between.
I’m thankful for my vacation-equivalent. He makes life so much more fun! I’m thankful he survived Florida and honestly, I think it was at the moment, heading home, happy, well-rested, sun kissed and 10 pounds heavier from all the shrimp we could find, that I knew I found my person. 🥰
Find your vacation person, do not vacation settle. It’s important.
So for now, I’m thinking beach side thoughts, imagining sunshine and warmth, and daydreaming for the day travel becomes less taboo again.
Sunny daze ahead, my friends (Probably). 🌞