One dog, two dog; blue fish, blue fish (a bad Dr. Seuss rip off):

One time, Matt abandoned me. FOUR WHOLE DAYS. Just me, like a free-range chicken, with 96 hours wide open and not a plan in sight. Technically, he abandoned me AND the dogs, but they seemed way less hurt by the abandonment and carried on as life as normal so.. they don’t count as victims of his abandonment.

Okay, fine. It was for a bachelor party. But still 96 HOURS? Some people really just should not have that much time without their guiding light, their partner, and their low-key adult babysitter. 🀣.

Me. I’m talking about me. πŸ™‹πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

It started out with a fish. A blue beta, named Dog. Matt refuses to allow my heart true happiness and keeps turning down every dog/puppy/rescue I think I need, so I got a fish and named him dog. I got my dog, dammit! I thought it was hilarious. Actually, I still think this is hilarious.

Humble brag: I’m kind of a fantastic fish owner. I’m one of those people that had betas that lived for years, moved houses, etc. I mean, sure.. there were a few unfortunate incidents like slamming into my windshield because of a quick stop, a quick jaunt down the garbage disposal (not on, thank God), an unintended visit in the dog’s mouth, and a near-death freezing event, but overall.. I have had great success with betas. I’ve had them on and off my entire life.

To be fair, betas are not challenging. You pretty much treat their water, feed them when you remember, and clean the tank sometimes. They are built with fortitude. They are perfect for the accident-prone πŸ™‹πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

So with that as a background, imagine my SHOCK when Dog died within 24 hours of joining our home. I killed him. I put the water purifier in the tank, put him in the tank, and promptly went to sleep, dreaming of all the memories we would make together.

Then, at like 3 am, I jolted awake, confident I made a critical math error and that there was an insufficient amount of water purifier in the tank. I jumped out of bed, ran to the tank, scooped Dog out, added more purifier, and dropped him back in. All while patting myself of the back for being an amazing fish mom.

Unfortunately, a few hours later, I woke up and he was belly-up. Turns out I did the math right the first time. πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ This failure didn’t deter me from my joke. I got out (IN A SNOW STORM) and found myself another beta, named it Dog. This one was a little uglier, but seemed to come from humbler roots and felt like a better fit to the family than Dog #1.

I was NOT going to suffocate Dog #2, so I followed the instructions perfectly. I didn’t even put Dog #2 in the tank until 24 hours after the water “settled”. Things were going great, Dog #2 truly was thriving.

Then lots of crazy shit, not relevant to this story happened, including a car exploding in our backyard, and before I knew it, 96 hours had passed and I was still a free-range chicken, just with its head chopped off.

Matt came home and thought my joke was pretty clever (if I do say so myself). We bonded as a family, things were going great. All was right in our world.

As we settled back into life as normal, Matt returned to his drumming, we worked, everything was fine. Then two days later, Dog #2 bellied up. It was unexpected and devastating. I had no warning.

I REFUSE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR DOG #2’S UNTIMELY DEATH. I’m convinced that the tank (which was directly above the music room) was effected by the drumming. Like the sound waves jostled his sanctuary and led to his demise. I have no idea if this has any scientific/intelligent backing at all, but I’m sticking with it. Matt says I overfed Dog #2. He is wrong. Probably.

So either way, we are now in a crisis; 2 “dogs” in a week. I’m not one to give up easily, but the thought of killing another fish wasn’t settling well. Matt recommended that I move the fish tank, so it was not directly above the music room (just in case I was actually right).

But here’s the thing, I liked where the fish tank was. It’s pretty, it fits the kitchen decoration scheme well, and honestly, it’s just really aesthetically pleasing.

So.. I bought fake fish. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

So far, they’re very low maintenance. They never need food (or get overfed), they are completely unbothered by the drums, and they don’t even make the tank a mess… and the aesthetic remains the same.

Fake fish, in a real tank, for a “certain” appearance. What a metaphor for life – I think we are all guilty of being fake (fish) for a prettier looking life (tank). I don’t know what to think of this whole fish/tank dilemma. I’m going to have to reflect on this whole metaphor for a while. I’m bothered by my superficiality, but like. not enough to.. not buy fake fish for my kitchen fish tank. At least, I’m being honest about my fake-ness, that has to give me some credibility points.

In the end, I guess we’re all just fake fish sometimes. Thus is life. One dog, two dog, blue fish, blue fish, and a whole pile of fake tropical fish.

Sunny daze ahead, sweet friends (probably). Don’t be fake fish, but if you are, at least be honest with yourself. 😝πŸ₯°

Published by SunnyDazeAhead

Well... it's happening, due to high demand, and my monstrous ego, I've decided to blog. Simply put, I can't imagine who wouldN'T want to read my crazy antics and get to know the inner-workings of my semi-stable brain. Maybe, you'll laugh (hopefully, WITH me). Maybe you'll cry or maybe you'll get bored. It's really up to you what you take from this, all I can promise is brutal honesty, a heavy dose of sarcasm, some cuss words (I am who I am, sorry dad), and a little insanity. My mom has also recommended I share some of my recipes.. so maybe that too. The face behind the blog is... hard to put into words and words are "kinda" my thing. I am loud, I am outspoken, I am silly, I am sarcastic. I am wildly defensive of my loved ones. I have an anxious mind and I spend a LOT of time trying to keep my brain from spiraling into worst case scenarios. I work hard to keep my mind a happy, optimistic place, which I have come to realize is not my mind's natural habitat. I spend almost all my time with my three dogs: Lucy, Brantley, and Zeppelyn, who I am convinced are the greatest beings on the planet. I probably love my parents TOO much, but I am blessed to share a very close friendship with both and it is REALLY important to me that I never take that for granted. I love a boy, I have loved the same boy for years now, and I moved for him and honestly; home is where he is. Fine, his name is Matt and he is most definitely TAKEN, so back off ladies. I am a KC Native; a Jayhawk by choice, and an Omaha- Transplant. I spent my entire life telling everyone I was going to be a doctor, only to turn out to be an attorney in the scheme of things (I am proud of that, it is just not where I saw my life going). I am often convinced that I should have been born in a small town (John Cougar Mellencamp- Style) and any part of my heart not occupied by the dogs and Matt, is occupied by the late, but no less great Star, my horse/partner/best friend of 15 years. That's right, I am a former "Horse Hottie" and it is one of my favorite things about myself. Otherwise, I try to be a kind, generous, and a good person. Sometimes, I think I am misunderstood, and other times, I am understood a little too well. My face will tell you anything that I SOMEHOW manage to filter my mouth from saying. Oh, and I think I need all baby animals: zoo animals, farm animals, ALL the animals. That should pretty much wrap it up -- I'm Ashley; Enneagram: Whatever. In truth, I don't know what my mission is here. I don't foresee myself saving lives, talking people off the ledge, or providing sage, creative or original life advice. I am not a parent, so parenting-advice shall not be offered. I avoid controversial topics like the plague, I don't have the urge to lead you to the Lord (but he is pretty cool if you are open to the idea), and I have no idea on how to teach, craft, DIY, counsel, or even really advise. But I can repeat what I have learned, I can tell stories, and (sometimes) I can make people laugh. Writing makes me happy. I hope my writing makes you happy. So buckle up, strap in, glue your helmet to your damn head, empty your bladder and do whatever it is that you have to do to prepare for a ride.. a wild ride. A star-studded, bronc bucking, rodeo type of ride... my very favorite type. πŸ’ƒπŸΌ Sunny daze ahead friends, probably. ❀️

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: