1-800-Got-Junk: the best business model

Any one else guilty of following the 1-800-Got-Junk people around their house screaming “PURGE, PURGE, PURGGEEE?!”

No, just me? It’s cool. Today is one of my favorite days of the year. IT IS JUNK PURGING DAY, BAYBAY.

First, if you’re not familiar with the 1-800-Got-Junk business model, let me enlighten you with what I consider to be singlehandedly the BEST business model I have ever seen/experienced. It’s literally a dump truck, that shows up to your house empty, besides two burly men (I assume women work here also, but I’ve never witnessed it). Then you show said burly men around your nasty, junk-filled house, and they take all of the crap you point out to them to their truck to NEVER be seen again.

IT IS THE GREATEST THING EVER. They charge you by the amount of truck you fill up and we normally spend anywhere between $300-$500.. and I swear it is by FAR the best money we will spend in 2021. (Minus wedding stuff – do not panic, parents!) Total time spent? 30 minutes or less. I am not playing, it is the most bang for your buck that you can get out there… in the ENTIRE world.

You are probably starting to think that 1-800-Got-Junk is sponsoring this blog post. But no, I am just really this big of a fan 🤣. Plus, I’m not sure this blog has the type of pull that gets sponsorships. But 1-800-Got-Junk, if you’re out there, and you want a dashing review, you are FREE to pull any of these words and slap them on your website. Consider it my gift to you, you little peace-bringers. 😘

With that all aside, you are now probably really starting to wonder how two people (Matt and I) really create that much “junk” that we need this to be an annual occurrence? The truth is this… ONE of us, who shall remain unnamed, apparently does not believe in garbage cans. So much so that if the other ONE of us did not exist, our house would be one minuscule step away from episode of hoarders. We already collect dogs 😉 Regardless of who’s fault it is (Matt’s 🤪) there really is nothing better than taking a day and getting rid of old crap. It’s cleansing for the house, it’s cleansing for the soul.

So.. what did we get rid of? Our couch. Literally, we now just have an electric fireplace and a massive dog bed in our living room. It creates a certain ambiance… the type of ambiance that says “do not come over, we do not have seating for you, but please send your dog.” We got rid of doors and their casings, 5 of them to be exact, which were just sitting in our extra room.. collecting dust and stressing me out. We got rid of our giant collection of tree limbs that we had trimmed off our trees in APRIL. Also, I finally gave up on Matt’s pipe dream of having a bonfire for him. I’ve been with the man for 4.5 years, we’ve been prepping for a “bonfire” for the entire duration of that time together, and today… today was the day we kissed that dream goodbye. I am not sad. Oh, and we got rid of all our broken porch furniture. 🤷🏻‍♀️ sorry neighbors, we’re about to be respectable human beings here any second now.. brace yourselves!

It’s stupid. I mean, I know that it’s just stuff, but seeing it go, feels like a weight off my chest. I know we could dump it ourselves, and if we did, we could get rid of the junk sooner, but… let’s be real, that takes a level of adult-functioning and organization that we are simply not partaking in at this juncture in life. We have things to do, cleaning up tree limbs is not part of the daily grind.. at the moment. If that’s ridiculous to you, I agree… it is ridiculous, but it’s also honest, sincere and genuine. I don’t want to do it.

So instead, we call 1-800-Got-Junk, they show up, and they take 30 minutes out of their day to change my entire life outlook. Sometimes, it just feels good to purge. 🤷🏻‍♀️

As I sit here, watching them carry our tattered furniture out of the house, I have to admit, I fueled a fire within me. I have already gone through clothes/closets, but next on the list… junk drawers. It’s trash day on Tuesday.. and junk has got to go. We are going to be sitting in an empty house by Tuesday at the rate my brain is going.

Not to get overly meta on everyone, but I’ve also been thinking about a mental purge. Like, using this instance/experience as a visual representation of purging my stress, my anxiety, and all the things that are beyond my control, from my brain. I can’t help that Lucy is sick, and worrying about it, just steals the happiness of our days left. I can’t help that our builder may never show up again and we may have lost all that money on our doors/trim, but I can help my attitude about it all. There’s a lot of things beyond my control, that take up a lot of space in my brain, that really just do not belong there. I am a hoarder of mental “junk”. It’s time to purge all of that “junk” too.

So that’s what I did, between screaming “Purge, Purge, Purge” and pointing out junk, I dumped my own junk in that dump truck. I had to do it secretly, of course, because I cannot have the 1-800-Got-Junk people thinking I am crazier than they already do, but somewhere in that dump truck, wedged between chewed couch cushions is a bucket of work stress. Somewhere in that dump truck, maybe under the pile of tree limbs, is canine lymphoma. Somewhere in that dump truck, probably stacked between broken chairs, is the daily bullshit my mind likes to obsess over – things like fear of loss, fear of being a disappointment, fear of failure. Then the dump truck just drove off – no heavier with my “added junk”, and yet somehow, I am so much lighter.

I purged the junk. I don’t know how long this visual representation will do the trick for me, or if it will last at all, but I plan enjoy every second of peace that it has brought me in the right now. The dump can have that junk, it does not benefit me. We may be down furniture or “junk”, but we are up so much more in free space, less clutter, and less odor retention (our couch was NASTY, y’all!). All of those things bring me peace of mind, comfort, and a tiny bit more mental stability.

I’m telling you, you gotta get the stability where you can. Call 1-800-Got-Junk, get rid of the junk, and feel BETTER. You are your only hindrance (screaming this at myself, I promise).

Sunny daze ahead, sweet friends (most likely). 🌞