I have been trying to figure out how to best sum up the last few weeks, because it’s been pretty wild. I went to Scottsdale for my bachelorette with SEVENTEEN girls and finally got my wedding dress! 🤗 We are getting there guys, and what better way to describe the last few weeks, than to give you direct quotes from the last few weeks. 😂
“Why are there so many shades of white?” – regarding wedding veils.
“I could just try it on in the bathroom.. or in the corner” – regarding my wedding dress 🙈. Turns out you have to have an appointment to pick that puppy up. Bridal fail.
“Lucy (the dog), just threw up in bed. Don’t worry.. I caught it” (IN MY HAND). *immediately moves in for a high-five for saving the sheets*
“What do you mean, when you say we have to write our ceremony?” – me to Matt, upon finding out that there’s not a pre-written wedding ceremony.
“Please no more” ⬆️ a live feed of my response to strangers buying me shots at my bachelorette. It started fun… but took a turn quickly.
“No, I actually always sleep on the floor” – me trying to play off sleeping on the floor instead of bed..
“No.. I want cow print on my nails. It’s my final hoe down throwdown” – me to my poor, innocent, nail tech.
“Yes, perfect, just need to run that by your sister..” – to my client that did not know he had a sister.
“Ew it tastes like cookie dough in a bad way.” – my response to the cookie dough whiskey I have been dying to try. 🤣
“Please don’t destroy anything I love.. especially bed” – me to Zeppelyn, before leaving for the bachelorette.
“I think I sunburnt my nostrils” – my response to desert living 🤣
“Don’t forget to feed my fish” – me in response to an “I love you” from Matt.
“PUT MY FIANCÉ ON YOUR FACE”
“YES, MATT WOULD LOVE TO BE YOUR TRAMP STAMP”
“YES. THIS IS MY FIANCÉ ON MY FACE.. AND HER THIGH” ⬆️- all regarding temporary tattoos of Matt’s face we got for the bachelorette.
“Can this be my carry on?” – regarding a life-size 3-D poster of my dogs. Happy note: it made it home safely.. and it wasn’t even my carryon.
“Oh look, there’s a family of squirrels out back.”
“Oh no, Lucy just spotted them”.
“Oh god, there went grandma”.
… 5 minutes later.. “oh no, they are back looking for grandma squirrel”. ⬆️ all regarding a squirrel murder I narrated to Matt this morning.
“They just don’t make grocery bags like they used too”. – me, after spilling groceries for the 90th time.
“The police pony wants my love” – my response to seeing mounted police. Update: they didn’t want my love.
“Guys! Watch me work out!” – me as a fell on the ground trying to demonstrate a single donkey kick.
“What is this massive bruise on your butt from?” – Matt to me.. post-donkey kick situation. 🙄. I think he was hoping for a spicier story than that.
“Gosh, I hate to waste all these gift bags” – me, channeling my inner-mother, trying to reuse the shit out of gift bags.
“Anyone else think horse poop smells relaxing?” – it’s true. I don’t know what it means to “smell relaxing”, but it certainly is a comforting smell. Where are my horse people at? Back me up. 😬
“Watch how low I can go… oh god, I’m stuck” – me dancing. 🙈
“You should come on our family honeymoon” – me to any stranger while under the influence.
& yes, we are going on a family trip for our honeymoon. Get at us. 😂
“I think I want to do a first reveal with my dog” – me to the wedding coordinator 🤷🏻♀️
“We don’t need a rehearsal dinner.. everyone has been walking since they were like one. It’ll be fine” – me upon deciding that we will not be rehearsing our nuptials 🥴
“Oh no, there’s a poop on the floor” – just… Zeppelyn.
“I scheduled a car appointment today, but I took my car to the wrong place” – explaining to my father why my truck is still in a disheveled state. 🤣
“I LOVE DESERT PONIES!” – blurted out upon actually riding a desert pony.
Ya’ll, it’s been wild! What have you been up too?
There are sunny daze ahead, I promise. It’s almost SPRING. 🌞