Things seem bleak. Things ARE bleak. It seems like people are more divided, feelings are more hurt, anger and hate is permeating into every aspect of life. Personal lives, relationships, careers, friendships are being tested and pushed.. and after 2020, we kinda needed a break. As you know, or you should know, I refuse to comment/engage in political discussion, religious discussion, controversy of any kind really. This is because some of my most loved people are radically different than me, feel radically different than me, look radically different than me, love radically differently than me, and I still love them. Like.. a lot and for me, that’s the only thing I really need to know. Love harder, love better, love differently, love intentionally. My goal for 2021 is that everyone important to me feels seen, loved, and heard by me. Spewing hate and anger prohibits that. So.. no dice. 🤷🏻♀️
But… I was getting a little bummed that my promise to myself (and my loved ones) was preventing me from sharing opinions when it’s ALL THE RAGE on every social media platform. So, instead of anything political/controversial/hateful, I’m creating a list of super firm opinions I hold that effect absolutely no one and have no true detriment to society in the slightest. Enjoy.
1. Tupperware shouldn’t exist. I hate it; it’s disgusting, it’s smelly, it’s absolutely never clean again after the first use. 🤷🏻♀️ help me fight the war against Tupperware. Don’t even get me started on the lid situation. It’s just toxic.
2. Those goldfish, with the exposed brains, in pet stores.. are ridiculously frightening. They shouldn’t be exposed to children. They shouldn’t exist. Ferrets look like furry snakes and I am a little afraid of them also.
3. Rolling over on a squeaky dog toy in bed whilst in the middle of a deep sleep is the fur parent equivalent to the real parents rolling over on a child’s talking toy. The terror is the same, probably.
4. White queso is WAY better than yellow queso. But I can agree it can be mood dependent. In sum, queso is fucking bomb no matter what color. The same goes for enchiladas. It’s honestly magic.
5. I’m a huge advocate for finishing exactly 0 show series. I tried it once. Characters I loved died, the ending wasn’t what I expected, I was left hanging, overall… the ending didn’t live up to expectations. So.. I propose, we skip all endings. Watch a series until you don’t think you can handle another minute of the drama, then immediately turn it off, stop following, and forget the experience ever happened. I promise, your imagination won’t let you down – the show really might.
6. There are no slower drivers in the world than the drivers in Nebraska. I know, I know.. this probably coming off as controversial. It’s not, it’s FACT. As a Kansas Citian, I know how to drive at normal speeds. My fellow Kansas Citians, who have visited me, can all attest… Nebraskans are the SLOWEST. 🤷🏻♀️
7. Disney world is the Devil’s playground. I know, this may also be alienating. I’ll tell you more about it some other time, but just know.. it was the TRIP. FROM. HELL. I will never return, but good for all y’all that like it, I’m invested in your experience being better. But truly, everything on your trip could go absolutely wrong in every single way, shape, and form, and still be better than the TRIP. FROM. HELL.
8. Elephants should be household pets. For real. Everyone would be better if they had a baby pet elephant. Plus it could reduce carbon emissions. Slower, but reliable, transportation. Plus their memories are amazing. We all deserve one. 🐘
9. Bingo is the most fun game. Ever. Online bingo = a way of life. Live bingo? THE ANTICIPATION IS UNREAL. Bingo can be played at any age and enjoyed by every person. It’s America’s game, fight me about it!
10. Cheddar bites and mozzarella sticks are amazing ➡️ the phrase “cheese curd” is horrific and underserves the entire fried cheese industry. It’s a freaking crime.
11. Rappers/musicians shouldn’t be allowed to use cop sirens in their songs. It’s heart attack inducing if you are driving. I hate it and someone needs to make that a real life rule.
12. I don’t think it’s THAT offensive when people clap when the plane lands. I don’t get the hatred for the habit. Sometimes, you just gotta clap for joy. Sometimes you’ve been sitting for hours and you just need release energy somehow – clapping is that outlet. Don’t hate the expression. It’s probably better than like a freaking break dance competition or fist-fight.
13. Telephone calls need to stop. Like fully. It’s an ancient practice. Text me, message me, snap me, Facebook me. DO NOT CALL ME. Telephone calls desperately want to be extinct. I desperately want them to be extinct. Let’s make this the goal of 2021. Together, we can conquer the freaking telephone call NIGHTMARE.
14. Spring water tastes like fishbowl water. It’s gross.
15. Printers should literally NEVER be allowed to run out of ink and lightbulbs should never burn out. Who actually remembers either of those items when they go to the store? ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. Then.. BAM.. one day, in the middle of a school/work crisis, you’re suddenly reminded you’re out of the damn printer ink. And it’s midnight. And Walmart is closed. And life just sucks at that point. Printer ink and lightbulbs put people in bad moods. It’s a science.
16. We should make plastic dishware and silverware the new norm. Dishes are nasty. How lovely would it be if we could just use the plate for meal at hand and throw it away. No more soggy food. No more leftovers.
Honestly, with that… I’m circling back to the eradication of Tupperware. So I guess.. I stop.
Sunny daze ahead friends (probably).