Don’t cry over spilt Mountain Dew.

I’m pretty sure that’s how the quote goes, or at least, it’s close enough for me. Who likes milk these days anyways?

The title hits close to home. I’ve had a WEEK at work, despite taking a vacation day Monday and it only being Wednesday. πŸ™ˆπŸ€£ it’s one of those “there’s 100 ways this issue could go right and be resolved, but we’re gonna find the little, tiny thread of DISASTER to pull on, and then tug and tug and tug on it, until your entire issue is basically a knotted ball of yarn, instead of the once clean and crisp sweater that it used to be and there is no foreseeable resolution/semblance of a sweater in sight” type of weeks.

I resigned myself to working this evening. The dogs were at daycare today, so they’ll be tired and I really do have to get stuff done. So I stopped to get myself a Mountain Dew on the way home, just a little treat for “trying my hardest”.

Then… I kid you not, I sit down, plug in my computer, and Brantley promptly gets tangled in the cords, throws my laptop across the floor, and dumps all 32 ounces of Mountain Dew on the floor. I thought about crying over the spilt Mountain Dew, I really did.

I mean, it probably would have turned into one of those “my dog died 6 years ago and my horse died 2 years ago and I have other pets that have died at some point in my life, and the world is sad, and everyone hates each other, and people are mean, and the news is depressing, and Covid is still killing people, and I just hate being an adult” rambling type of cries, but I just really don’t need it. you don’t need it either. Don’t cry over spilt Mountain Dew.

So now, I’m in the bathtub, with lavender Dr. Teal’s, getting my freaking wooosahhhh on. Instead of crying, I have some really important stuff to tell you guys. Like late-breaking thoughts that I think everyone should know, including you, my sunny-dazers:

1. Avocado toast is just really not that good. I don’t care if you slice the avocado, mash the avocado, or sprinkle seasonings all over the avocado. At the end of the day, you’re eating plain bread, with the world’s plainest flavored vegetable/fruit (which side do you align?) mashed on top, with a sprinkle of flavor (like a la croix – “somewhere near an “everything bagel” seasoning factory”).It’s a textural nightmare. I’m not gonna fake it anymore.

2. Charcuterie boards: I love, love, love the idea of them. But there’s approximately one thing I will eat on any given board. Plain salami. I don’t even like the cheese, it smells. That being said, I take it upon myself to bring a charcuterie board with me to all social settings. I have no idea why. It makes me feel sophisticated. Normally I leave a lunchable in the truck, so I can enjoy normal ham, cheese and crackers without judgment from my swanky-ass friends.

2a. Plus charcuterie boards are expensive. Like I’ll spend a quick fifty on ridiculous cheese balls and nasty stuffed olives and candied okra, but I’ll be damned if any of that even gets the within a foot of my mouth. No. Thank. You. Your complex and adult-like taste buds might make me hurl. Let’s normalize lunchables again.

3. I’m the level of petty that if my dogs have been at daycare for more than an hour and 0 pictures of them have been added to Facebook, I go through and “love” all the other dog photos in a super passive-aggressive way. It has quite literally never worked in my favor, but somehow, I feel like I’m winning. (No one tell me that they don’t care or even notice, I need this win).

4. The throwing of bridal bouquets should be banned. It’s DANGEROUS. See below for proof. People get too competitive and inevitably end up injured. (People = me). If I ever get married, the practice ends with ME. 🀣

I’m the one flying.

5. My dog recently got sent home from daycare for urinating on goats. As in, she wouldn’t stop following the goats around and peeing on them when they stood still. 😳That’s really all I have to say about that.

6. I semi-befriended a work goose, because everyone kept trying to get me to get him to go away. He was not very nice and I wasn’t overly thrilled with the task. Someone (not me) was feeding him, so he wasn’t going anywhere and he would chase people in and out of the building. I took a couple of personal days, and now he’s gone. I’m convinced someone killed him while I wasn’t looking and I think I am expected to be more upset than I am.

7. I was told I was a “very good flying partner” on Monday, because I sat in my chair, did not move, listened to my podcast and minded my own. It was very sweet to hear, but I think my seat partner thought I was like 12. I didn’t break it to him that I generally sit still and don’t ask random strangers for entertainment. Regardless, his relief was palpable – so I am glad I was able to be that for him.

8. A 55 year old man at the airport slipped me his number on a napkin and told me to text him. I asked him if he was planning on giving me marriage advice. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ guess he forgot about his wedding ring. We were almost friends, gosh darn it! Sneaky, sneaky Ashley B!

9. I recently started watching The Mentalist. So far, I like it. Will I finish it? Doubtful. It goes against everything I am as a show-binger to finish any particular series. 🀣

Guys, the world is a mess. No one is getting along. Feelings are hurt, arguments are heated, and aggression is rampant. There are quite literally people killing one another (and/or strangers) over bad days and depression. Don’t cry over the spilt Mountain Dew. There’s a lot bigger issues out there, and if that the worst you have to deal with right now, you’re doing pretty well. I’m thinking of all of you, sending you my lavender wooosahhhh vibes, and praying your dog doesn’t pee on a goat (it really is quite embarrassing). We can do this. Summer is coming, trees are blooming, and there really are sunny daze ahead (probably).

Published by SunnyDazeAhead

Well... it's happening, due to high demand, and my monstrous ego, I've decided to blog. Simply put, I can't imagine who wouldN'T want to read my crazy antics and get to know the inner-workings of my semi-stable brain. Maybe, you'll laugh (hopefully, WITH me). Maybe you'll cry or maybe you'll get bored. It's really up to you what you take from this, all I can promise is brutal honesty, a heavy dose of sarcasm, some cuss words (I am who I am, sorry dad), and a little insanity. My mom has also recommended I share some of my recipes.. so maybe that too. The face behind the blog is... hard to put into words and words are "kinda" my thing. I am loud, I am outspoken, I am silly, I am sarcastic. I am wildly defensive of my loved ones. I have an anxious mind and I spend a LOT of time trying to keep my brain from spiraling into worst case scenarios. I work hard to keep my mind a happy, optimistic place, which I have come to realize is not my mind's natural habitat. I spend almost all my time with my three dogs: Lucy, Brantley, and Zeppelyn, who I am convinced are the greatest beings on the planet. I probably love my parents TOO much, but I am blessed to share a very close friendship with both and it is REALLY important to me that I never take that for granted. I love a boy, I have loved the same boy for years now, and I moved for him and honestly; home is where he is. Fine, his name is Matt and he is most definitely TAKEN, so back off ladies. I am a KC Native; a Jayhawk by choice, and an Omaha- Transplant. I spent my entire life telling everyone I was going to be a doctor, only to turn out to be an attorney in the scheme of things (I am proud of that, it is just not where I saw my life going). I am often convinced that I should have been born in a small town (John Cougar Mellencamp- Style) and any part of my heart not occupied by the dogs and Matt, is occupied by the late, but no less great Star, my horse/partner/best friend of 15 years. That's right, I am a former "Horse Hottie" and it is one of my favorite things about myself. Otherwise, I try to be a kind, generous, and a good person. Sometimes, I think I am misunderstood, and other times, I am understood a little too well. My face will tell you anything that I SOMEHOW manage to filter my mouth from saying. Oh, and I think I need all baby animals: zoo animals, farm animals, ALL the animals. That should pretty much wrap it up -- I'm Ashley; Enneagram: Whatever. In truth, I don't know what my mission is here. I don't foresee myself saving lives, talking people off the ledge, or providing sage, creative or original life advice. I am not a parent, so parenting-advice shall not be offered. I avoid controversial topics like the plague, I don't have the urge to lead you to the Lord (but he is pretty cool if you are open to the idea), and I have no idea on how to teach, craft, DIY, counsel, or even really advise. But I can repeat what I have learned, I can tell stories, and (sometimes) I can make people laugh. Writing makes me happy. I hope my writing makes you happy. So buckle up, strap in, glue your helmet to your damn head, empty your bladder and do whatever it is that you have to do to prepare for a ride.. a wild ride. A star-studded, bronc bucking, rodeo type of ride... my very favorite type. πŸ’ƒπŸΌ Sunny daze ahead friends, probably. ❀️

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