Sunshine and Rainbows

I wish I could say that life has been sunshine and rainbows since my last post (which was kind of a bummer- sorry about that btw), but alas, THAT WOULD BE A LIE. My dog has tried dying on me, twice, in the last week.

No seriously, turns out her “kennel cough” symptoms were actually signs that her chest cavity was filling with fluid, surrounding a probable tumor, in her lung. We thought we were going to lose her Friday. Then, today was the “we need to see improvement or we need to discuss quality of life” day.

AND WE SAW IMPROVEMENT. 👏🏻

Lucy is still very sick, but she’s improving. We are hoping to get the fluid out of her chest cavity so that we can get a good look at what is going on with her lungs. It is only after that that we will find out if there is anything we can do. So yes, if you’re curious, I’m exhausted. We have been in full blown CRISIS mode for a week now and it has been a roller coaster. But like, not a fun one.

So no, I’m sorry to say, it has not been all sunshine and rainbows over here. At the same time, it also hasn’t been torrential downpours of endless bullshit 24/7 either, and I think that needs acknowledged.

When we got the news that Lucy’s chest was filling with fluid, my mom dropped everything she was doing and drove straight to Omaha… and has not left. My mom is my absolute favorite person (don’t tell Matt or my dad), so this a big win. It is hard to beat coming home to your THREE (Matt, my mom, and Lucy) best friends and spending quality time together. Plus my mom cooks for us.. and cleans.. and basically is just an angel. The world is a better place because my mom is in it. She is sunshine.

Wedding planning is happening, like it or not! I do.. like it… by the way. We have a date ☑️ we have a venue (I literally want to live at our venue) ☑️. The groomsmen have been identified ☑️. I have asked all my bridesmaids to participate (and importantly, they all accepted) ☑️. We have a photographer, a videographer and a DJ ☑️. The bachelorette party is planned ☑️ the bachelor party is… meh.. I think they need a little help🙃🤣. We are reviewing menus as I type and engagement photos are scheduled. I meet with a florist next week! Basically, despite it all… things are happening, and it’s exciting! This is one gigantic rainbow of relief. 🌈

Also: have you seen the new fad where people are having their grandmothers be their flower girls?! I NEED ADVICE ON HOW TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN. Granny, while a ray of sunshine, might kill me when I ask. ☺️

I got off soda.. FOR AN ENTIRE MONTH. ⭐️ yup, the girl that drinks like 64 ounces of Mountain Dew a day, kicked the habit. Lost 10 pounds. I have to admit, I’ve picked back up the habit (it’s a comfort for me) in the midst of all of this Lucy drama. But I know I can do it, and I will do it again, and it will be great. That is pretty, damn, sunshine-y to me.

My truck got “broken into” in the work parking lot in the middle of the day. I use the phrase “broken into” EXTREMELY loosely, because my dumb self left the door unlocked. I know this seems like a rain cloud, but truly, the thieves got like $3.00 in change, earrings I’m allergic to (and that are fake), a few disposable masks, and the coin holder in my center console. I would have given them the money, but I wish I didn’t have to replace the center console thingy. I have a feeling Ford won’t be entertained by my “I’m so silly, I left my door unlocked because I trusted humanity” story.

Regardless, how lucky am I? That’s ALL that was taken. I cannot tell you how many times I have kept important/life documents in my center console.. or a bunch of cash. It could have been worse. Plus, these thieves were kind of sweet and considerate, they left all my handwritten notes from my dad in my passenger seat. They had to take them out of the coin holder, which I know took a small version of effort, and I appreciate that. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Thieves with half a heart? I’ll take it. If that’s not at least a little rainbow-y to you, then you are just looking for the rain.

I went to the dentist for the first time, in over 3 years, expecting the worst.

1. I hate the dentist

2. My teeth hate me

But, in a reverse psychology, “I love you , Ashley” move from the universe, I had no cavities and only have to get ONE tooth fixed. This tooth has been broken for years (dentists out there, don’t hate me 🙃, I promise I’ll be better). Again, I’ll take it! I felt like Oprah, handing out rays of sunshine to all after this victory!

Yes, work is hard, but I have a job, which THANK GOD with these vet bills. Watching Lucy struggle more than normal is tough, but she’s medicated and comfortable (the vet promised me – we take quality of life very seriously in this household), and now we get bonus time. I have vet bills, but it’s because my Lucy is still with me and still fighting. My schedule is packed, but it’s because I am planning what promises to be the most beautiful and fun wedding. My mouth is sore, but it’s clean and healthy. I am down a coin dispenser, but I’m up a valuable lesson on LOCKING YOUR DOORS. I’m tired, but I’ve spent more time with my mom, Matt and Lucy than I normally do.

It’s not all sunshine and rainbows friends, but it doesn’t all suck either. Sometimes, I need the reminder. Here is yours, you can thank me later. 😉

Now, cuddle those pups and say a quick prayer for mine. 💕 That is what I will be doing. We’re all about cuddles and people food snacks at this house at this particular moment. Give yourself, and others, a little grace, times are tough.

There are sunny daze ahead friends, I promise. But in the meantime, you may have to look extra hard for those sunshine rays and those mini rainbows. They are there, whether you recognize and appreciate them or not 🌞🌈