Sunny Daze.. FOREVER

I’m back! Not by popular demand.. or really any demand.. but I’m back. To be honest, Sunny Daze was set to expire. The WordPress gods were prepared to snatch my domain name back and offer it to some other floundering 20-something, semi-adult, who tries to see the brighter side of it all. To be fair, it wasn’t without warning – I was notified a month out, then a week out, then 72 hours out.. and then 48 hours out..

And then I realized, Sunny Daze is mine. She (is a blog a girl?) is my brain child, my safe space, a collection of my thoughts, my beliefs, my goals and my ambitions. Once I remembered that, I realized that I couldn’t just let her expire. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ So.. here we are, 1 more year of Sunny Daze promised.

Honestly, I feel relieved. I went back and forth about it all, because I haven’t been writing much.. or at all. I don’t have unique thoughts or special insight. I don’t add to my readers life, or knowledge, or coping skills. I’m not really sure that I do much of anything by the way of Sunny Daze, truthfully. It may be a complete waste of money, but it’s MY waste of money, dammit! She’s worth it.

The truth is.. I need Sunny Daze. I need to write out my thoughts and call myself on my bullshit. I need to consider myself, and my thoughts, and my relationships, from a different view, a safer distance. I need to hold myself accountable to my goals. I need to actively practice gratitude.. and I want to share my stories.

So, here we are. If you’re still around, you’re the best. If you aren’t, I get that too. No hard feelings either way. But hey, let’s move forward!

I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about what behaviors/traits/qualities and habits that I want to leave behind in 2022. I know, I know, I’m already late. I’m not killing myself over it, change happens slowly. (Revision/goal No. 1 – practice patience with YOURSELF!). I don’t have the solutions, but I think I know where I need to put the work:

1. Okay, I already said practice patience with yourself, and I meant it, but I want to reiterate it. Ashley, afford yourself the patience that you afford to others – friends, family, strangers. You deserve kindness too.

2. Get comfortable in the uncomfortable. This is kind of a newfound “thing” for me. I used to THRIVE in the uncomfortable: awkward silence? YES PLEASE. inappropriate comment? I’m your girl. Laughter in the worst case scenario? It’s a guarantee. But lately, I’m SO uncomfortable in the uncomfortable. There isn’t much I wouldn’t do to prevent difficult conversations or controversial statements. My insides literally wither away at the thought of witnessing hurt feelings.

3. (Related/Continued from above).. and while that may seem nice, like I’m being such a nice person, I am not. I’m being a sell out and I need to acknowledge it. Instead of hiding behind the “oh I am so kind, no hurt feelings on my watch, thank you” facade, I need to be truthful on my motivations. My desire to avoid conflict is almost always the motivating factor in my actions. I’m not hyper-focused on being kind.. even if I like to pretend that I am. I need to admit that sometimes harsh things have to be said, sometimes feelings are going to be hurt. You (I) can’t protect every person from every trigger from now until the rest of eternity, no matter how much I want to prevent conflict.

4. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t be kind and you shouldn’t strive to refrain from hurting other people’s feelings. But acknowledge when it’s your responsibility.. and just as importantly.. acknowledge when it is not your responsibility. You don’t have to drown yourself keeping everyone else afloat and maintaining the peace.

5. And shit, while we’re at it, let’s work on swimming. Not treading (just managing) but really embracing those long, healthy strokes. Embrace adversity, embrace hardship, and look for the lessons. You can tread a whole hell of a lot of water, but that doesn’t mean you’ll get anywhere. It’s time to swim, not tread.

Step 1: admitting you have a problem โœ…. Problem recognized, now.. how to remedy it? I’m not sure, but let’s figure it out.

There are Sunny Daze ahead my sweet friends, I just know it! ๐ŸŒž

Published by SunnyDazeAhead

Well... it's happening, due to high demand, and my monstrous ego, I've decided to blog. Simply put, I can't imagine who wouldN'T want to read my crazy antics and get to know the inner-workings of my semi-stable brain. Maybe, you'll laugh (hopefully, WITH me). Maybe you'll cry or maybe you'll get bored. It's really up to you what you take from this, all I can promise is brutal honesty, a heavy dose of sarcasm, some cuss words (I am who I am, sorry dad), and a little insanity. My mom has also recommended I share some of my recipes.. so maybe that too. The face behind the blog is... hard to put into words and words are "kinda" my thing. I am loud, I am outspoken, I am silly, I am sarcastic. I am wildly defensive of my loved ones. I have an anxious mind and I spend a LOT of time trying to keep my brain from spiraling into worst case scenarios. I work hard to keep my mind a happy, optimistic place, which I have come to realize is not my mind's natural habitat. I spend almost all my time with my three dogs: Lucy, Brantley, and Zeppelyn, who I am convinced are the greatest beings on the planet. I probably love my parents TOO much, but I am blessed to share a very close friendship with both and it is REALLY important to me that I never take that for granted. I love a boy, I have loved the same boy for years now, and I moved for him and honestly; home is where he is. Fine, his name is Matt and he is most definitely TAKEN, so back off ladies. I am a KC Native; a Jayhawk by choice, and an Omaha- Transplant. I spent my entire life telling everyone I was going to be a doctor, only to turn out to be an attorney in the scheme of things (I am proud of that, it is just not where I saw my life going). I am often convinced that I should have been born in a small town (John Cougar Mellencamp- Style) and any part of my heart not occupied by the dogs and Matt, is occupied by the late, but no less great Star, my horse/partner/best friend of 15 years. That's right, I am a former "Horse Hottie" and it is one of my favorite things about myself. Otherwise, I try to be a kind, generous, and a good person. Sometimes, I think I am misunderstood, and other times, I am understood a little too well. My face will tell you anything that I SOMEHOW manage to filter my mouth from saying. Oh, and I think I need all baby animals: zoo animals, farm animals, ALL the animals. That should pretty much wrap it up -- I'm Ashley; Enneagram: Whatever. In truth, I don't know what my mission is here. I don't foresee myself saving lives, talking people off the ledge, or providing sage, creative or original life advice. I am not a parent, so parenting-advice shall not be offered. I avoid controversial topics like the plague, I don't have the urge to lead you to the Lord (but he is pretty cool if you are open to the idea), and I have no idea on how to teach, craft, DIY, counsel, or even really advise. But I can repeat what I have learned, I can tell stories, and (sometimes) I can make people laugh. Writing makes me happy. I hope my writing makes you happy. So buckle up, strap in, glue your helmet to your damn head, empty your bladder and do whatever it is that you have to do to prepare for a ride.. a wild ride. A star-studded, bronc bucking, rodeo type of ride... my very favorite type. ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿผ Sunny daze ahead friends, probably. โค๏ธ

5 thoughts on “Sunny Daze.. FOREVER

  1. It’s good of you to give me a present on my birthday in ensuring that we can continue to share your hellosunnydaze for a while longer. No, please don’t send a bottle of whisky. My doctor says I have to cut down!

    Like

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