I’m back! Not by popular demand.. or really any demand.. but I’m back. To be honest, Sunny Daze was set to expire. The WordPress gods were prepared to snatch my domain name back and offer it to some other floundering 20-something, semi-adult, who tries to see the brighter side of it all. To be fair, it wasn’t without warning – I was notified a month out, then a week out, then 72 hours out.. and then 48 hours out..
And then I realized, Sunny Daze is mine. She (is a blog a girl?) is my brain child, my safe space, a collection of my thoughts, my beliefs, my goals and my ambitions. Once I remembered that, I realized that I couldn’t just let her expire. 🤷🏻♀️ So.. here we are, 1 more year of Sunny Daze promised.
Honestly, I feel relieved. I went back and forth about it all, because I haven’t been writing much.. or at all. I don’t have unique thoughts or special insight. I don’t add to my readers life, or knowledge, or coping skills. I’m not really sure that I do much of anything by the way of Sunny Daze, truthfully. It may be a complete waste of money, but it’s MY waste of money, dammit! She’s worth it.
The truth is.. I need Sunny Daze. I need to write out my thoughts and call myself on my bullshit. I need to consider myself, and my thoughts, and my relationships, from a different view, a safer distance. I need to hold myself accountable to my goals. I need to actively practice gratitude.. and I want to share my stories.
So, here we are. If you’re still around, you’re the best. If you aren’t, I get that too. No hard feelings either way. But hey, let’s move forward!
I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about what behaviors/traits/qualities and habits that I want to leave behind in 2022. I know, I know, I’m already late. I’m not killing myself over it, change happens slowly. (Revision/goal No. 1 – practice patience with YOURSELF!). I don’t have the solutions, but I think I know where I need to put the work:
1. Okay, I already said practice patience with yourself, and I meant it, but I want to reiterate it. Ashley, afford yourself the patience that you afford to others – friends, family, strangers. You deserve kindness too.
2. Get comfortable in the uncomfortable. This is kind of a newfound “thing” for me. I used to THRIVE in the uncomfortable: awkward silence? YES PLEASE. inappropriate comment? I’m your girl. Laughter in the worst case scenario? It’s a guarantee. But lately, I’m SO uncomfortable in the uncomfortable. There isn’t much I wouldn’t do to prevent difficult conversations or controversial statements. My insides literally wither away at the thought of witnessing hurt feelings.
3. (Related/Continued from above).. and while that may seem nice, like I’m being such a nice person, I am not. I’m being a sell out and I need to acknowledge it. Instead of hiding behind the “oh I am so kind, no hurt feelings on my watch, thank you” facade, I need to be truthful on my motivations. My desire to avoid conflict is almost always the motivating factor in my actions. I’m not hyper-focused on being kind.. even if I like to pretend that I am. I need to admit that sometimes harsh things have to be said, sometimes feelings are going to be hurt. You (I) can’t protect every person from every trigger from now until the rest of eternity, no matter how much I want to prevent conflict.
4. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t be kind and you shouldn’t strive to refrain from hurting other people’s feelings. But acknowledge when it’s your responsibility.. and just as importantly.. acknowledge when it is not your responsibility. You don’t have to drown yourself keeping everyone else afloat and maintaining the peace.
5. And shit, while we’re at it, let’s work on swimming. Not treading (just managing) but really embracing those long, healthy strokes. Embrace adversity, embrace hardship, and look for the lessons. You can tread a whole hell of a lot of water, but that doesn’t mean you’ll get anywhere. It’s time to swim, not tread.
Step 1: admitting you have a problem ✅. Problem recognized, now.. how to remedy it? I’m not sure, but let’s figure it out.
There are Sunny Daze ahead my sweet friends, I just know it! 🌞